I hopped in my car, drove to the closest gym to my house, and hired the very first personal trainer I met.

That was the only criterion in my decision-making process:
Closest gym. First trainer.

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I couldn’t afford to fuck around anymore. The gravity of my situation—the pain of being so horribly unfit—forced change upon me.

Surely any trainer is better than none? Any form of exercise is better than being physically inactive.

When we make our decision-making process overly complex, we obstruct and slow down our ability to change.

Pontification is a form of procrastination.

If you truly want to change, make your decisions quickly and bravely.

Your life is precious.

Here’s the thing about setting goals:
Often, the goals we set are too small. Not big enough. You simply have to stretch out your hand and reach a little further than you did last time.

Your goals need to be so big that the attainment of them changes everything.

Your life is transformed, and you will never be the same again.

I’ve been teaching my system of 3-Word Goals™ to some incredible people in my world, and I see this all the time.

Robert, an ex-marine and now Realtor—who looks like he could still go 12 rounds with Manny Pacquiao —wants to run a 7-minute mile every week.
When I ask him, “Why so slow, brother?”
He replies, “Well, I know I can do that easily, without hurting myself.”

Or Susan, another Realtor in Minnesota, tells me her goal is to do one transaction a month. When I ask if that would truly change her life, she admits…
“It would help me survive.”

And so we wonder why we don’t leap out of bed in the morning? Why don’t we stand out in a marketplace increasingly crowded with competitors?

Because our goal was never to stand out. Our only goal was to avoid pain. To simply survive?

Ye of little faith, what has happened to the child inside you?

The one who used to dream? The one who believed anything was possible?

And don’t give me that “disappointment” or “past failure” crap. Those things don’t dent your willpower or steal your dreams.

That was a choice. A decision. An act of will when you actively decide to let the events of your past rob you of your future.

Unfortunately, that one choice has stolen so much more.

You are not your dreams. You are not your successes. You are not your dashed hopes or your failures.

You are one thing or the other: A human being who chases their dreams, brave and hopeful and alive. Or a human being who is despondent, disillusioned, and afraid.

What kind of human being will you be?

That’s really the choice I was making while sitting on that rock.

Would I wake up to life? Or simply remain sleeping?

And let’s be real: trying not to piss the bed while you’re sleeping is not a very big life goal.

Choosing to wake up, to dream big in every single dimension of your life—that is everything.

Because it’s you choosing to become fully alive.

Tomorrow, for our paid readers (support below), I’ll talk about how to set really compelling, get-you-out-of-bed, scary 3-Word Goals in every area of life.

I’ll also introduce you to our 3-Word Goal Architect™, a powerful AI tool that is changing lives.

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I need to warn you of something important now.

I don’t make sense

I don’t fit nicely into any compartment

I am a G on the world-famous DISC profile.

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There is no recipe or formula behind me.

I am mysterious.

More like a G-spot.

Forgive me, that was a joke too far, and I just lost my evangelical readers.

Forgive me. Stay with me. These writings, although irreverent, are holy.

I can feel it as I write. Typing furiously with my thumbs still as I walk the treadmill under my standing desk, the words are flowing out of me.

These writings are holy because your human life is sacred, and the 3-word goal system I have created here is going to unlock the life you were designed to live.

Let’s talk about rejecting your current reality (after first accepting it)

Disillusionment. Disappointment. Dissatisfaction.

These 3 D’s can be powerful drivers for change.

As I sat on that rock, I had to accept that my life was a failed experiment.

I was fat

I was unfit

I was not happy

I was failing in my role as a father

We’ve got so precious in hearing the negative.

When a friend tells us that they’ve fucked up, failed, or done something wrong.

The first thing we want to do is minimize

Ameliorate their pain.

Tell them they are still good.

Empathize, telling them we did something similar 15 years ago.

And yet pain is an incredible driver for change.

Maybe you are not being a true friend when you say these things?

Perhaps you're trying to avoid feeling the same thing?

Maybe a real friend says…

“Yeah, bro, you fattest and most unfit, I’ve ever seen you.”

Or

“ Yeah, you are setting a terrible example for your kids. At this rate, they won’t even have a dad in 10 years.”

Or

“I get it. You could be doing so much better.”

The trouble is, you are probably reading these words coldly, and they probably sound mean.

And yet, every line here could be said to a friend with love and with tears in your eyes.

My acting teacher used to say…

“The truth will set you free, but first it will really piss you off.”

If you have a piece of paper or a journal with you right now, I’d love you to jot down 5-10 things that you really don’t like about your life at the moment.

As I sat on that rock 18 months ago, mine were:

• Physically very unfit

• Unable to play with kids

• Not practicing what I teach

• Involved in a toxic relationship

• Inconsistent revenue streams

• Way too passive in my life

I don’t feel particularly good about any of these things, even now.

And yet if I wish to grow, I have to accept their truth.

I don’t know where you are.

I am not sure what is disappointing to your soul.

But it is always there, and I am glad that you feel that way.

However fucked up and dark your life is, I welcome that truth. I celebrate that you are not pretending or minimizing the seriousness of your situation.

You deserve better.

There is so much more for you.

Join the 3-Word-Goal Intensive

Once we accept our current reality, we can finally reject it and, for the first time in a long time… proudly say.. this is not my future.

In my very first job, I was a Veterinary Surgeon in rural New Zealand.

As part of that work, I would perform pregnancy tests on cows.

For the ignorant among you (you are blessed), this involved sticking my entire arm up the cow’s anus and feeling to see if there was a calf or any signs of pregnancy in the uterus below.

It was a shitty job (no pun) and on some days I would test over 500 cows.

They were wild, back of the world, barely seen a human, cattle beasts also.

They would kick (rightfully), stomp, and crush you against the cattle gate.

It was exhausting, and I did not like it, and yet I persisted.

Until one day, a small wild cow pirouetted on her front legs and booted me with both hind feet right in the nuts.

It was my” yeah, fuck no” moment. I applied for a new job working with pussycats in the city and never went back to the land.

That is the transforming pier of the truth.

You get to imagine a new future.

That’s also the power of our 3-word goals.

For the paid supporters of this blog, I will now tell you about my very first 3-word goal and help you set yours.

Read more

In general, I don’t love labels.

I don’t enjoy being categorized in any way. I prefer to be known only by the name my parents gave me.

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This name is Geoff. If you are reading these pages in an American accent, then I want you to know that Geoff = Jeff, it’s just spelled differently.

Every single Uber driver I had in my 13 years in Los Angeles called me Gee-off. I never corrected any of them; I found it highly amusing.

There’s one thing that I really loved about my time as an evangelical: the concept of redemption and new life.

That every single day was new.

That no matter the shit that went down yesterday, today you could start again.

That’s why the very first chapter of this book begins with me sitting on that fat rock in the middle of nowhere.

That’s my chapter one.

Not the years that went on before.

Not the failures and victories of yesterday.

Ever had a friend who could not help but tell you story after story of their past glories from years ago?

Ever been that person?

Stuck in the old story?

Never leaving the rock at the beach, slowly dying upon it, wishing that they were young again?

I like to wax lyrical.

I am half poet and half scientist.

You cannot begin a new story unless you let go of the old ones.

The old stories keep you stuck.

The new stories (driven by your goals) set you free to truly live.

Do not, I repeat, do not, try and recreate the past… You will find no life there, only shadows of disappointment at what used to be.

Did you know that the very best actors never try to do the same take twice?

They never try to repeat a performance.

Why?

Because it won’t have “life” in it. When you watch it, you will feel like they are stuck, not really listening, not really alive in their imagination.

A great actor knows that every moment is unique.

It is the same for you and me.

Do you want a fresh start?

Or are you trying to recreate what you have lost?

Imagine asking a new romantic partner to act exactly like the last one?

Weird right?

There could be no real connection.

Sally kissed me this way.

Rub my back like Bob used to?

Could you please try to make the lasagne just like Sarah did?

This would be a doomed relationship. No curiosity, no spontaneity, no fresh discoveries.

I guess I am asking you to consider the possibility that being stuck in the past is a form of early death.

A fixed commitment to a rigid belief that your life will never be that good again.

I hate pessimism.

I dislike control.

It really, really fucks me off when someone, anyone, tells me that something is impossible or that it cannot be done.

It feels dark, fearful, dreary, and easy.

I loved my father, but he was a pessimist, and it drove me crazy.

My single greatest quality rests in my imagination and my ability to conceive impossible things.

Conceive = conception and conception = new life.

As you read these words, written in this go-anywhere, riffing kind of style, I ask you to do one thing for me.

Wonder.

Just wonder. Not for me, but for yourself.

I wonder what great things you will do with the rest of your life?

I wonder what coming more fully alive might look like?

I wonder how you would walk through this world if you were living your best, boldest, and bravest life?

Don’t try to answer these questions yet.

In fact, refuse to answer them.

The power of the question is the consistent asking of it, not the answering of it…

Which brings me back to the rock at the beach, 18 months ago, and the birth of the new Gee-off.

Transformation happens when you simultaneously accept and refuse to accept your current circumstances.

For example:

I was fat, unfit, and a million miles away from living my best life. I had to accept this truth. To grow, I had to acknowledge the reality of my circumstances.

What about you?

What current truth are you denying?

How are you detaching from your present reality?

I don’t mind if you grab a pen and jot down notes and a journal as you read.

I pretty much detest self-help books that give you action items at the end.

Just pay attention to how my words might be affecting you.

If you are getting annoyed, please keep reading. I am like fine wine that gets better with age.

Back to my point:

Accept your reality. Reject your reality.

Geoff. x

P.S. For our paid readers tomorrow, I will explain how to reject your reality and truly grow. Support my writing by subscribing below

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I have finally found the courage to write my story…

It is an unfinished story

Poorly written in parts

Marred by clumsy chapters and vile language that does not always speak of my very best character.

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As I stand here, slowly walking on my treadmill, typing on my phone, I wonder if this is the very first book ever written by only the human thumb.

I wonder how this book will finish, I wonder how my story will end.

Perhaps you wonder this about your life also.

What will you become?

How long will you live?

What mountains will you climb?

What struggles will you encounter?

What love will you find?

What memories will you create?

I am waxing too lyrical. I am asking too much from you. For surely this is my story, and this is my thumb, ferociously banging away at words that I am just finding on my phone.

I think this is the point, though…

This is why anyone reads a story, for the magnificence of the adventure, for the twists and the turns, for the great discoveries and surprising twists… we read stories and watch movies because we do not know how it ends, and there is a great joy and enthralment in both the wondering and the discovery.

The same is true for your life and mine.

The devil tells you that you have to stay safe, you have to plan, you walk the wide road with the masses… that you need to know how the story ends…

The devil may not exist

You might not believe in his wicked ways

I may have alienated you already by bringing up his name on the very first page

Like I said, my writing is very imperfect

You don’t know me yet, you’ve only just started reading…

But this is my unfinished story, and as you turn the page, you will discover me a little more.

The magic is in the reveal

The story is in my footsteps

And the future is in your hands

What kind of world will you create for yourself and those whom you choose to love?

Because as much as I want to tell my story upon these pages with my furiously typing fast thumb

It is my deepest desire that within these pages…

Upon these words

Written by a very ordinary and often insecure man…

You would find something else

A script. An energy. A model. A way forward.

A pathway to something new.

To the life that you know you were meant to have.

To the adventure that you’ve always longed to live.

To the freedom that can only be found by being you.

This might sound like a bunch of horse shit to you.

You might feel like your dreams fell away into the shadows a gazillion moons ago.

But you still have a shadow

And your dreams still exist.

I know this with absolute certainty.

I don’t care (harsh) how old you are, how young you are, how fat you are, how poor you are, how overwhelmed you are, how rich you are, how tired you are.

You may be terminally ill… we all are.

You might just be waking up to life itself.

None of this matters.

If you have breath now.

If you still have life in your bones.

There is great immeasurable joy to be found in your day.

Right up until the end. This is not the time to give up.

Which brings me back to my story.

Or part of my story.

18 months ago, in Huia, west Auckland, New Zealand, I was on a fishing trip with my then 12-year-old son, when I fell upon a rock.

When I say “fell,” I did not actually fall.

I sat my heavy ass down.

I had walked barely 300 yards across a few small rocks.

When I say “walk,” I mean stumble, red-faced and out of breath.

I couldn’t stand up.

My back hurts.

I had chest pains.

I felt like I was one single footstep away from a coronary and an early demise at 48 years of age.

The ignominy of dying on a rock in the middle of nowhere, with my son, stuck on his own without a soul to help him.

Yes… Something was wrong with my body.

But it was far worse than that.

My body was just a symptom.

There was a greater sickness.

My life was succumbing to the greatest disease of all.

I had become a man without a dream

A human without a goal.

Just another cog in a world of 8 billion people.

Another human being dying on a rock that he did not choose.

Little did I know…

This was a glorious moment.

It was the beginning of something new, something beautiful, the very thing that’s causing me to write these words to you right now.

It was my” fuck no, moment.

Life could not be this way.

I wouldn’t end on this rock.

Everything had to change

My life would be….

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Note: This is the prologue for my new book “3-Word-Goals”. I will be sharing the work here as I write it. Please consider becoming a paid subscriber to support the writing.

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